Naheed's Story

This is a story like that of many victims of domestic abuse; a mostly unreported but pervasive problem. Naheed was a kind, loving mother, sister, daughter, and aunt who was loved by all that knew her. She was also in a 30-year-old abusive marriage. The abuse was emotional, physical and as is the case with many domestic abuse stories, also included control through manipulation, and financial deprivation.

Naheed came from a traditional South Asian family. She married at a very young age. Her husband moved to England from a village in Pakistan shortly after the wedding and the abuse started shortly after. He started by isolating her from her family and friends by insisting they should have more one-on-one time together, canceling plans, and coming up with reasons why they should not see them. If Naheed tried to disagree with him, he would emotionally manipulate her by giving her the silent treatment, or make her feel guilty about neglecting him. 

The abuse got worse and his actions got more brazen as the years went by. He would openly cheat on her and would not care about the hurt she felt or the humiliation she would suffer as everyone knew about it.  He had no problem with being physically abusive to her in front of their kids. During one such incident, their teenage daughter confronted him about the abuse, and he responded by saying “she was his wife and he can do whatever he wants to her.”

Another way he abused and controlled Naheed was by limiting the amount of money he gave her. For years he would give her 20 pounds weekly to spend on household expenses. He would do this to force her to borrow money from her family, especially her mother. It started with loans and escalated to her getting so desperate that she would withdraw money from her mother’s UK bank accounts without her knowledge. As bad as that was, it was not enough for her husband.  He personally took control and eventually ownership of her mother’s home by fraudulently getting her mother to sign a power of attorney to him. He also set up multiple bank accounts  in her mothers name, some of which were joint accounts and even one in her dead father’s name. 

The guilt of allowing Pervez to mistreat and abuse her as well as her mother took a significant toll on Naheed’s self esteem and mental health. She neglected to take care of herself, which eventually led to her having severe health problems.  By the time the pandemic started, her health had deteriorated to such a level her doctors had instructed her to take extra care due to her co-morbidities.

Despite the warning from Naheed’s doctors and the government’s warnings to the general public to take precautions, her husband chose to disregard the threat to Naheed’s life entirely and went to a house that had COVID. When Naheed found out, she refused to let him back in the house. However, her husband forced himself back into their home. The police were called but merely registered the event as a “domestic dispute,” despite Naheed’s insistence to the police that if her husband were to enter their home and she were to contract COVID, she would likely die.

Unfortunately, that is precisely what happened as she fell ill with COVID and succumbed to the virus in the ICU three weeks later. During the last few days of her life, she told her mother and sisters how this was the last straw. She would divorce her husband and get her life back once out of the hospital. She was adamant about making sure her husband didn’t get away with his abusive behavior anymore and even tried to amend her last will and testament from her deathbed. She contacted her bank, insurance company, pension plan company and to change her beneficiary– but the financial institutions did not recognize her as a victim of domestic violence, and her last wishes were ignored.

Underreporting is a significant roadblock to the justice system’s ability to address Domestic Violence effectively. However, even when abuse is reported, victims still do not get the help they need or justice they deserve. In Naheed’s case, ineffective handling or dismissiveness around the cry for help during the strict lockdown in the UK led to her death. Getting justice for the victims of Domestic Abuse like Naheed is difficult as it is not even registered as a violation of either the quarantine rules or a Domestic Abuse event. In short, Naheed’s death has gone unpunished. 

The worst infraction that has taken place in Naheed’s case is the division of her assets. Her last wish sent from her death bed to her sister was for her assets to be divided equally among her four children. She had also promised to pay back her mother from whom she had taken significant loans. Sadly, even her mother became the victim of Elderly Financial Abuse. 

Unfortunately, U.S and U.K law makes it challenging to create a will during pandemic crises, which is something Naheed desperately tried to do and failed. Roughly half of the states in the U.S, the UK, and most of the world recognize only one type of will: a “formal” will be executed in compliance with the country’s laws requiring a formal process of creating a valid and legally binding document. 

Under this ancient statute, wills must be written, signed by the testator, and witnessed by two people who are present at the same time. As journalists and lawyers are recognizing, the Wills Act’s insistence that the parties physically occupy the same space “create[es] unprecedented roadblocks” during a time of widespread quarantine and shelter-in-place orders. 

COVID-19 vividly highlights the shortcomings of formal wills. Indeed, the outbreak has exposed the main problem with the Wills Act: it renders will-making inaccessible. This was especially true regarding Naheed, where she sat in her bed in the critical care unit contemplating her choices of not calling out her abuser and trying to change her will and secure her assets, for which she endured numerous years of mental, emotional, and financial abuse for her children. But her children and her abuser realized that the law was not on her side. Before she went on the ventilator, she sent a text to a sister stating that she would like her assets, the marital residence, an investment property in Spain, and land in Pakistan to be equally divided among her children.  

Naheed even changed her bank accounts to reflect her daughter to have direct access but to no avail as Pervez emptied her accounts. Naheed also attempted to, while on the C-Pac, change the beneficiary to her Sky TV pension plan to her middle daughter, which was not honored despite it being one of her last wishes. The trustee distributed her pension plan according to their archaic understanding of the law. Domestic violence, abuse, or consideration for her dying wishes was not considered when deciding to distribute her pension plan, which primarily went to her abusive husband. As a result, we want to urge lawmakers who cling to this outdated statute to liberalize the requirements for creating a will and understand the injustice of wishes vs. intentions in a domestic abuse situation where the victims do not have the mental and physical strength to defy the abuser until it is too late. Also, human justice demands that the abuser should not benefit from the assets of the victim of domestic abuse. 

Why are lawmakers and politicians possessed of flawed and illogical views in such matters? For those who are of sound mind but lack the capacity to alter their wishes, it is a gross injustice.